funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

Helen Huntington already explained it very well. 1. Its hard to navigate things as just small talk when follow-up questions and comments quickly lead to territory I dont want to discuss. Reply with 'Hey' Back. For me, it was lack of basic adult civility and respect that was the death knell I didnt expect safety or that level of support after 18 and didnt feel wronged that it was not given. LW is a better person than I; I would be tempted to say, I desperately need to re-grout the bathroom and weed the garden. Ive realized its very important for us. "Spend some time this weekend on home improvement. Funny Responses To How Are You Save Image: Shutterstock Somewhere between better and best. She could NOT grasp that she was experiencing a cultural difference and the question wasnt going to stop because a) people were genuinely curious and/or wanted to show they were interested in her as a person and b) she was living in a part of the country where small talk was expected and people would consider it rude NOT to ask that question. Me: Nope. Jackpot! I am not anyones manic pixie dream social secretary. Thank you! And it is really freaking wearing on them that people in the UK will correct them if they say theyre British. Because our societys patterns absolutely will not let anyone think it could be possible that what I, for example, would be doing with that time is letting my brain process the mathematics that will lead to an invention that most of us will never hear about, but it will make all of our lives better. This is probably part of why I am frustrated by this conversation, because by most conventional social norms, you are actually doing nothing wrong. Youll all be healthier and live longer if they learn some manners in how they treat you. And part of why Im asking is because maybe you just havent thought about it in those terms. Good, the colors on the leaves are amazing (in Fall) Thanks! Every time you see Pushy Neighbor, you go into this mode. Oh, theyre going to the movies on Saturday? Thats the way to go. Does that mean that these women would get constant requests for free tech support? You're supposed to live it and enjoy it. And we do know that extreme surveillance is a very brutal and destructive form of torture. My small college town has become a lot more cosmopolitan over my lifetime, and weve got enough of an international population now that Im deeply curious about many of the customers at the store where I work. I have never had it used against me as an ableist term, but I will use a different word in the future. We also told our children when they were growing up that they could use us as an excuse any time they felt pressured or uncomfortable saying no for themselves. So threatening to make her move out is just not wise. He didnt mention it at all, and he wasnt big into ice skating in years past, so I assumed he probably just wasnt interested. And when things are something that I consider a family obligation, I make it clear (I need you tocan you? I want to put a claim on your time for X, will that work? etc.) W- Work free. person: Hey, hiya, rya? LW is pretty clearly not talking so much about people making casual small talk as people being roundabout manipulative. On the other end, I have a tactic for weekend planning. that sounds fun! The only tricky part I have encountered so far is if you actually say you are busy doing [thing] and instead have planned to watch the Winter Olympics with your cat, perhaps do not write an update about that to Facebook. At least once I figured out that they genuinely *didnt* need to know anything about me if they were going to behave that way I could default to oh my god Im so busy! Theres nothing bad with setting them and enforcing them, and if youre dealing with people who cant respect them, the question itself is not the biggest problem in the relationship. Improve your attitude toward your family." - Bo Bennett 4. Your tactic of combining the two points is the right way to go, I think. Indoor Cat says feeling unsafe would have been the most damaging to her relationships with her parents long term. They dont ask if you want to do the thing and then you are able to tell them (and if you were busy, youd probably mention that when declining). Be polite. Vacuuming the cat or shaving the yak* or something. Im saying lets not be unkind to the LW for disliking or feeling stress about this particular social situation. I also used to use it a lot until a friend pointed out this problematic history, so paying her work forward. Not making it a big moan-y you alwaaays ask that! just an in the moment, you know were close enough that we dont have to do this dance sort of thing. Have a Happy . I make a special point to not do that, not even if the thing Im asking for help with is sort of non-negotiable. So now as far as she knows, I am very very very busy. Am I? It is a question that can be answered or echoed and nobody minds too much. Sometimes people respond in a very vague way (oh just some family stuff), which will tell me that its private or they just dont want to discuss it with me and Ill drop it and switch topics. When I asked him later, What the heck? They may be angling to invite you somewhere. It kind of sucks to be going about your business and then people remind you that you dont fit in. It can be a white lie! But it puts me on edge every time I hear it. Here in Scandinavia using this question might lead to really strange conversations since people might assume that it is indeed a serious question which deserves a serious and thorough answer (though this varies between different countries and areas). Other Half keeps the diary, I need to check.. OK, you want to ASK if hell help you w/ your home maintenance, fine, but these are not HIS chores anymore. I think we can get trapped in endless circles of soft invitations where neither person ever gets the push to move forward, so Ive tried to get more into the habit of being explicit about a desire for the other person to act. Them (if it was an invitation prequel) would Thursday at noon work for you?, Them We need to have lunch soon (This one is so trite that it takes a few moments for the humor to sink in.) OMG yes! Im in my 20s and married, living away from home, but I feel like Im constantly playing tug-a-war with my parents and were fighting over boundaries. But more often we talk about their kids or grandkids or the cute hat theyre wearing or the wedding theyre shopping for. The comment is sometimes a small talk, meant to affirm that we like seeing each other, and sometimes a prequel to an invitation. I m trying to understand the other side, all those people who say they do this to make declining easier, but it just makes no sense to me. Him: Nothing fun? Lets get together. But you have never issued a direct invitation to me in your life. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" that will make people laugh Science of People 815K subscribers Subscribe 3K Share 53K views 7 months ago #vanessavanedwards #conversation #communication How. If its just to bond, asking about past activities might be an easier way to accomplish this. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. In the UK I think some places greet each other with all right? all right? and nobody blinks an eye. And I hate being rude, also as a woman I am hardcore trained to not ever be rude, so at this point for me sticking to my guns and saying no, I cant do that thing with you (even though this person now knows I technically CAN) is very difficult because it turns into: I dont WANT to do this thing with you, and thats a no-no (around here, I mean). In ways that I doubt he even always notices. I love organizing events and I confess to having asked that annoying question several times, mostly in order to know if a particular friend I would love to invite is available on that date. We cheerfully said we were free, assuming there was going to some festive get together and wanting to make friends. We can debate all day whether that should be true, but it is. While having to put up with gday, mate lacks the structural oppression of whats aimed at POC, it is still annoying. Eating. I didnt realize it until I noticed they were running a long-term experiment when they traveled of noting responses they said they like Canada and big chunks of northern and western US, because if they say theyre British, no one bats an eye despite their obvious Polish accents. How hard is it, whats the timing, is it just for me personally (thats a favor), or is it for the greater familyHER greater family? I guess I run with a very specific social crowd and it hasnt occurred to me in a while that its not always doable to say Im going to do CRAFTS ALONE, its going to be awesome. But I used to be in a grad program where people were super competitive, and if I said oh my god Im going to stay in this weekend, Im so peopled-out people would be lowkey mean about how I wasnt networking/studying/running charity marathons enough. It doesnt actually mean how are you? in the same way that goodbye does not actually mean God be with you. What it means is, I acknowledge you, fellow human being. In some ways, its helpful to think of it not as a phrase but as a pair of words: how-are-you, fine-thanks-and-you. Want to go to the turnip festival with me or are you busy? Well, Im not busy but I also dont want to go to any turnip festival ever. On the other hand, that was a while ago. Im thinking the letter we had a while back with mandatory no premade food potlucks is a glaring example of a culture that needs changed, but I would also like to see room in the workplace for people who are good at their work but are reserved/private/not interested in relationships with their coworkers outside of work. I might hang out with some friends on Sunday. What to Say: "Thank you, I had a great weekend.". But they seemed concerned that this type of answer was not appropriate or that there might be a better strategy. And sometimes the answer is well but if they respond that way theyre not your friends anyway, but we interact with a lot of people who are not our friends but who are important to our lives (coworkers, for example, or in-laws) and yet who can levy that cost. *drops a house on MLM guy*, Heh. So finding out if you have plans at a given time becomes an underhanded way of tricking you into agreeing to something, like LW mentions in point number 2. Ive seen too many nightmare scenarios of late, in the wake of the Aziz Ansari mess, that start out exactly like you are describing. 2. Sometimes I feel like this is just another Hi, how are you? kind of question that can be sort of skipped over. Or is it more like she doesnt get involved into such decisions but you expect her to follow through and water your radishes? Where are you from is often followed by no, where are you REALLY from which seeks to establish that you are a foreigner. Mother likes to trap me. When she asks me what Im doing on a particular day, I just say Im not sure or I need to check my calendar until she tells me what she wants. I understand the concept, but it seems to me that getting an invitation after revealing that you were nominally free at that time would make refusal even harder, not easier. What about you? How about you? He hardly ever asks anymore though. Oh, sorry, I cant., What are you doing Thursday night? Flip the question back on them. If I have to treat her like a grownup, and not like my minor child that I can boss around, she can fucking treat ME like a grownup, and not like her mommy that she takes for granted.. "Yes, the weekend always . Ive learned also that its ok to be a deer in the headlights if Im caught off guard bc I can always invent something shortly after or next day and say whoops forgot I had x. This is how I deal with it: Assholes. Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. 2) They are thinking of asking you to do something with them but are fishing around first because theyre afraid of asking directly right out either afraid of rejection or sometimes afraid of putting you on the spot or sometimes they just feel like it sounds too abrupt and unnatural to just without some chat first. What are you doing for dinner? I would say something like:"what have you done with yours so that i can learn what to do or avoid.". Maybe shorter comments go through immediately but longer ones need mod-approval? Yup. A playful Why, whats up? is cool, but I am probably not compatible friends with someone whose response to a polite-small-talk/soft-invite-opening is to demand why I am asking such a nosy question. The kids DO like my origami and I was able to get in some geometry pointers with that. Them (if it was small talk) *moves on to a different topic* Especially not in NYC, where housing is so tight, and especially when she doesnt have a job.). Humor is one of the best ways to respond to being asked out, as long as it's well-received. In this case it has the added benefit of short-circuiting the waiting for you to say nothing so I can guilt you into babysitting gambit. ME: Hi [Friend], Id like to plan a karaoke night with you, are you free [date] or [date]? What are you up to this weekend? For the record, I will totally cat-sit for you. Canned responses are pre-written messages that allow customer support agents to respond to customer issues at the drop of a hat. Another example: My parents both corrected their local accents to American Standard Television English long before I was born, so I grew up with that accent myself. When Ive used it outside of the US and on people who are not Anglophones from birth, its often perceived as prying which, in those countries, it is. It gives you a window into each others lives and invites you to share something about yourself. She can of course say, Im taking some mental-health time, and live with whatever fallout from being an unhelpful family member. Note that LW says when it comes to friend-peer interactions, its fine, other than reminding LW of the more problematic interactions. 13 "It was so relaxing. I should add it somewhat depends on how well I know the person. Invitations are not commands. Ill assume thats the case and check back later. The first time I posted a little comment showed up saying that my comment was pending mod review since it was my first comment but I dont see one of those now. Basically the thing you wrote about duties like babysitting, expanded to fun events. Whereas it might feel more awkward/imposing for her, and less for me, to just ask outright, Do you want to go to [event] on [this day]?. Ahhhh the family stuff. Crossword puzzles, chess, sudoku, or other puzzle games Cooking Travel Gardening Art, music, crafts, writing, podcasting 2. And I try to be easier on myself for not having the exciting weekends I think I should be having. Something like this happens every single time. Lets just say there were a few comments along the lines of look, if this Pampered Chef isnt your personal yaoi cup of tea, thats fine, but do you have to be so judgy about what your friends into?, Exactly! They need to stop it. And I mean, its legit to decide that youre willing to pay the cost, that youre okay with people deciding that you are unsociable or unfriendly or rude. Whenever people accept this answer, I know I am dealing with human beings who understand their goodness as a constant learning process. I have close friends that Ive been upfront with and say Im totally a hermit, but I do like to be invited to events and will make them sporadically. Doing great, what are you doing here? I never thought about the fact that some people might be actually trying to relieve the pressure! IMO the correct answer to we should get lunch some time or lets hang out is actually sure, Saturdays are generally good for me or Ive been meaning to see Black Panther. This might just be a difference in communication styles. Cousin Charles is having a party, and I think it would be good if you showed up.. Notice how it starts off with a light compliment. @Helen Huntingdon, that is good to know, re feelings and setting off yellow flags. Are you busy? Its the same here. Fine, thanks, and you? You may also eagerly seize on these options and/or provide some of your own., (2) Hey, Im looking for someone to cat-sit while Im out of town for the next three months. This is a whole lot easier to get if you see someone do it, but here goes: First of all, your manner while doing this will be constant big beaming smiles of absolute certainty, with big cheery extrovert gestures and rather loud but happy and beamingly-positive voice mannerisms.

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